Build a bridge and get over it.

Dear Timmy,

I’m sorry I made fun of the dandruff on your head.

I’m sorry I always made fun of your smelly baloney sandwich.

I’m sorry that I made everyone aware of the hole in your shoes.

I’m sorry I did this for years.

I’m sorry that I didn’t even bother to learn your last name.

And most of all, I’m sorry I did not applaud you when you finally stood up for yourself. It was admirable, it was right, and you certainly put me in my place. And I thank you for it.

I thank you for acknowledging that I had my own insecurities.

I thank you for giving me the opportunity of owning up to my own actions.

I thank you for allowing me to release my anger on other endorphin releasing activities that didn’t include victimizing you.

I thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow the hell up.

I guess we both learnt something important about ourselves. Strength to stand up to other people and strength to acknowledge one’s wrongdoing.

I hope you are well.

Sincerely,

Wendy P

As the school yard bully, I can certainly condone with people that have been bullied in the past. It is neither nice or necessary. But it happens.

It is not to say that I would not understand what it would be like in the victim’s shoes. I think at one point, EVERYONE was bullied in one way or another, and it really is up to the individual to deal with it personally. It is comparable to human evolution; it is man’s way of doing things: in order to get past an obstacle, we “grow” from it.

Bullying is part of our biology. Take example of a hungry caveman, it realizes that meat is a food source that is necessary to develop strength; it realizes that the food source itself is capable of pulverizing him. He develops tools tools and hunting tactics to make the hunt more = he gets the meat and is happily nourished.

It is fair however, to argue that school yard bullying, with time, has changed the method of bullying. Children are now being bullied in cyberspace on online forums like Facebook or Myspace. To me, quite frankly, doesn’t this make it easier for them?  With bullying no longer being face to face encounters, there is no physical confrontation. Is it possibly that hard to press the delete button when you receive a negative comment? To acknowledge that your bully can is so pathetic as to type you obscenities rather than confront you?

Generation Y is getting very pathetic. There is too much babysitting from parents and teachers in the playground. Helene Guldberg, associate lecturer in child development at the Open University, says “fretting 'over the supposedly terrible dangers of bullying in the playground, can do more harm than good'.

It denies children 'the experiences they need to develop', such as being able to resolve their own disputes, as well as stunting their development and harming their social interaction with others.

Children need to learn that if something bad happens, you can learn to do two things:

1.    Stand up for yourself: give as good as you get

2.    Be the bigger person: ignore and move on

In a recent study, researchers compared children who reciprocated a fellow pupil's dislike with those who tried to ignore or placate their enemy.
Those with the highest "antipathy" marks - repaying hostility with hostility - seemed the most mature.

Girls who gave as good as they got scored significantly higher on teachers' ratings of social competence. They were more popular in class and often admired throughout the school. Boys who stood up for themselves were judged to be better behaved in the classroom than those who suffered in silence.

So there you have it. I think like physical strength, one can mentally mould themselves into stronger people. These mental “workouts” include blocking out negativity as if it were white noise; ignore people that are bringing you down, draw strength from the idea that this person has no better things to do than obsessing over you and knowing that you can get through this experience as the better person.

Bullies can learn that bullying does not make them feel any better about themselves, in fact, feel remorse and acknowledge that they must take ownership of their personal issues.

The snippet above suggests that in the long run, bullying can be beneficial in its form of character building for both the victim AND the bully. Technology and new age thinking is suppose to make life easier. KIDS THESE DAYS NEED TO STOP BEING SUCH PANSIES.